


Gay or just a Galran?

by geemrmiranda



Category: Legally Blonde (Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Boyfriends, Everyone Is Gay, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Legally Blonde References, M/M, Questioning Sexuality, Songfic, Training Room, everyone is thirsty for keith, is he gay or just a galran, shirtless shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geemrmiranda/pseuds/geemrmiranda
Summary: The team questions Keith's sexuality through song...
Relationships: Acxa/Keith (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	Gay or just a Galran?

One day, Pidge and Lance were sitting together in the castle, contemplating life while eating popcorn. They were observing Keith and Acxa fighting on the training deck.  
“Hey, Lance,” said Pidge in between bites. “Do you think Keith’s gay?”  
“What?? No way!” Lance replied. “I think he’s totally into Acxa!”  
“No, but look…”

Pidge:  
There! Right There!  
Look at those slightly purple eyes,  
Look at the way he looks at guys,  
Look at that hair, there’s no surprise,  
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay!

Lance:  
I'm not about to celebrate  
Every trait could indicate  
the totally straight expatriate.  
This guy's not gay, I say not gay!

Hunk, joining them:  
That is the Weblum in the room,  
Well, is it relevant to assume  
that a man who wears a costume  
is automatically manically fay?

Pidge:  
But look at his coiffed and crispy mullet,  
Look at him firing that bullet

Allura, now also watching Keith:  
There's the eternal paradox  
Look what we're seeing

Lance, Pidge, Hunk:  
What are we seeing?

Allura:  
Is he gay?

Pidge:  
Of course he's gay!

Allura:  
Or is he Galran?

All:  
ohhhhhh  
Gay or just a Galran?  
It's hard to guarantee  
Is he gay or just a Galran?

Shiro, sitting shirtless in the corner, defensively:  
Well, hey don't look at me!

Allura:  
You see they bring their boys up different  
on that planet of their sorts,  
They play peculiar sports

All:  
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts!  
Gay or just a Galra?  
The answer could take weeks  
They will say things like "vrepit sa"  
while they stab you through both cheeks!

Lance:  
Oh please!

All:  
Gay or just a Galran?  
So many shades of purple

Coran, popping up behind them:  
Depending on the time of day  
Prince Lotor goes either way

All:  
Is he gay or just a Galran?  
or-

Lance:  
There! Right There!  
Look at that condescending smirk  
Seen it on every guy at work  
That is a metro-hetero jerk  
That guy's not gay, I say no way!

All:  
That is the Weblum in the room  
Well is it relevant to presume  
that a hottie in that costume

Pidge:  
Is automatically, radically

Lance:  
Ironically, cronically

Hunk:  
Scurtinly, curtainly

Coran:  
Genetically, netically

All:  
Gay!  
Officially Gay!  
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!

They observe Keith flirting with Acxa.

All:  
Dammit!  
Gay or just a Galran?

Lance:  
So stylish and relaxed

All:  
Is he gay or just a Galran?

Coran:  
I think his chest is waxed

Hunk:  
But they bring their boys up different there  
It's culturally diverse  
It's not a fashion curse

All:  
If he wears a knife inside his purse  
Gay or just exotic?  
I still can't crack the code

Lance:  
Yet his accent is hypnotic  
but his shoes are pointy-toed!

All:  
Huh  
Gay or just a Galran?  
So many shades of purple

Acxa, overhearing the coversation:  
But if he turns out straight  
I'm free at 8 on Saturday!

All:  
Is he gay or just a Galran?  
Gay or just a Galran?  
Gay or Galra -

Allura:  
Wait a minute!  
Give me a chance to crack this guy  
I have an idea I'd like to try

Pidge:  
The floor is yours

Allura, trying to be subtle:  
So Mr. Kogane…  
This alleged flirtation with Acxa has been going on for...?

Keith, shrugging:  
A couple of days

Allura:  
And your first name again is...?

Keith:  
Keith?

Allura:  
And your boyfriend's name is...?

Keith:  
Shiro?

Everyone gasps.

Keith:  
I'm sorry! I misunderstand  
You said boyfriend..  
I thought you said best friend.  
Shiro is my best friend.

Shiro:  
You bastard!  
You lying bastard!  
That's it  
I no cover for you, no more!  
Peoples!  
I have a big announcement  
This man is gay aaaaand a Galran!

(Gasp)

Shiro:  
And neither is a disgrace!  
You've got to stop your being  
a completely closet case!  
No matter what he say  
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way  
You are so gay!  
You big parfait!  
You flaming one-man cabaret!

Keith:  
I'm straight!

Shiro:  
You were not yesterday!  
So if I may, I'm proud to say  
He's gay!

All:  
And Galran!

Shiro:  
He's gay!

All:  
And Galran!

Shiro:  
He's gay!

All:  
And Galran and Gay!

Keith:  
Fine okay I'm gay!

All:  
Hooray!


End file.
